Gingrich Believes in The Secret

Newt Gingrich the artist

Thank God it’s over–Gingrich finally bowed out of the presidential race. I don’t think I could have handled it much longer. Every time Newt Gingrich declared himself the clear frontrunner during the republican primary, who didn’t think, “Dude, he’s crazy!” It was like watching a pathological liar get caught stealing a cookie but swear he’s never seen a cookie in his whole life while holding the stolen cookie in his hand. I even started feeling bad for Newt whenever he’d say Mitt Romney couldn’t win an election. Maybe he had gone numb from the number of times Romney’s boot kicked him in every state?  And not just Mitt Romney, he even got beat out by Rick Santorum! But did that stop our Newt bomb from going off? No it did not. At first I thought that maybe this crazy talk of winning had something to do with Newt’s infamously massive ego, but then I started wondering: What if he didn’t believe that he was winning? What if he just said that so he wouldn’t lose? That’s when I realized–Gingrich isn’t crazy, he’s an artist!

If you’ve known any actors, writers, artists or musicians, you’ve probably seen a bit of Newt in them. For years they don’t get a gig, yet when asked how things are going in their careers they reply with a simple and upbeat, “Great.” Now if you ask those same friends for details they may divulge some of the ugly truth, but in the impossible world of professional artists, they can never let you in on all their insecurities, because if they do, they will fail.

This is due in small part to the mythos of The Secret. According to The Secret what you say will in turn manifest itself. It seems that thanks to the power of imagination and vocabulary, we all possess the power to create or destroy our own futures. So if for instance, you’re a Debbie Downer and you complain about never making it, well guess what? The reason you’re miserable and not making it is because you keep saying you’re not making it. Knowing that kind of weight is on an artist’s shoulders, do you believe any of them could ever admit to failing? Even if one of them doesn’t believe in The Secret, the rest of them do (or at least pretend they do just in case); so non-believers still have to play the confidence game so they don’t get written off by possible job creators. It’s like the butterfly effect. Let’s say you’re an actor and you’re really depressed and say, “Yeah I haven’t scored a gig in 2 years, and my agent’s about to drop me, and hell I can’t even work on a student film, what’s wrong with me?” The person that hears this will respond with a look of disgust at having come so dangerously close to a living breathing failure. The scent from your listener’s twisted face (oh yes, bad faces do emit smells) transmits negative signals to prospective fans of yours that causes them to hate your face, which in turn vibrates to managers, agents and casting directors, so by the time you show up to their offices, a sort of gag reflex takes over the manager, agent and casting director and you are instantly shut out before you can even begin your career. Simply put, if you let anyone know you’re failing then you won’t get any support because people like to help those with a chance of success, and that chance is best calculated by how successful those people already are.

Well how is that really considered helping if you’re not supporting a person in need? It’s not helping, it’s betting on a winner. Face it, if people are going to invest their time or money on anything, they want to make sure it’s going to succeed. But if you’re not the winner, then what can you do to get the help you so desperately need? Don’t tell anyone you’re a loser and market yourself as the underdog–the one with the right stuff that nobody had the brains and foresight to see except for your loyal fans. So basically you’re still selling yourself as a winner, but a more nuanced one.

This is the lesson that Newt missed out on. He stuck so closely to The Secret that he forgot to change his plan of attack. As a result, Newt put his campaign to rest leaving thousands of Secret believers shocked to discover that Newt has no verbal powers to change the minds of voters or the results of the Republican primary. Still the ever-winning and Secret-following Newt made sure he did not step down a loser. He chose hopeful words during his goodbye speech and to the universe coined himself, “An active citizen,” because active doers make winning happen.

Newt Gingrich and Shep Smith of Fox

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