My Baby Shower this last Saturday made me pregnant. Of course before, I was pregnant, but now I’m like pregnant pregnant. Like need a chair and gallons of water pregnant. I’m tired, my ankles are swollen, my stomach gets in the way of sitting down and I can barely reach the stick shift or brake release on my truck. I can’t even stop complaining! It’s making me crazy, but even with threatening to punch myself, I still can’t keep my mouth from whining.
Before the Baby Shower I was feeling pretty good. A little sleepy but able to function 100%. I even prepared myself for my BS by staying up until 2am the night before so I could do it again for the party. Well it worked. I was able to stay up until 1:30am for my BS and got home with a backache and two stumps for legs. It didn’t register at the time, but I had spent the entire evening standing up. Why? Because I didn’t feel pregnant. Even when I got home and saw the state of my legs, I figured I’d just put on some sexy compression socks and sleep off those Jabba the Hut bulges riding over my bloated feet. But no. The morning after was like that first hangover that takes more than a day to shake off. For the first time in my pregnancy it took two days for the swelling in my legs to subside and for me to recover from the pregnant woman’s equivalent of an all-nighter. It was time to admit it to myself: I’m pregnant.
Okay, so now what? Nothing. Sorry, but I just can’t write a thoughtful blog this week. Now that I’m pregnant I stopped working. Today’s my first day off and I just want to watch some bad romantic comedies, read A DANCE WITH DRAGONS because I can, and do some pre-natal yoga. I may even watch another episode of REVENGE on Netflix. Yes, I may be smart, but when I’m tired I enjoy the easy and dumb. And now that I am finally feeling pregnant, I just don’t care how lame I am. Go ahead, Me. Punch me and get it over with. I’m just too pregnant to care.
*Will be back next week rested and ready to mock.