Continued from Take My Maternity Photo, It’ll Last Longer (Part II-Haunted)…
The virgin and the whore–never shall these two meet except in maternity photos. Women complain about being labeled as one or the other, but when it comes to photos who cares. Being pregnant gives you the power to be every woman, so try both limiting views of our sex!
The Sweet and Virginal
No matter what set of looks you go for, the Sweet and Virginal is a must. Forget about how you got pregnant in the first place, you’re about to have a baby! These shots help build your own personal mommy pedestal for friends and future children who prefer their pregnant women as naive sacred beings rather than experienced women of the world.
Of course those countless years of tasteless hook-ups that led you to your new bump in the road can make it hard to be a born-again-innocent, but for photos, you don’t have to be innocent, just look it! So go for make-up free looking make-up, dress in your pastel baby shower best with relaxed comfy preggo jeans and dazzle everyone with how impossibly fresh and unjilted you can still look. Because pregnancy isn’t about preparing to raise a child, it’s about taking grade school photos in a park to be a child again.
It’s even better with flowers…
…or a large phallic tree.
Now let’s get to what every woman getting a maternity photo really came for: to look hot as hell. After months of yoga pants and ultrasounds, a girl has got to let that inner sexy roar. In the States that means looking raunchy and showing off way too much skin. Doesn’t matter how universally beautiful or not a preggo may be, when they see models posing with their bellies like this…
…they can’t help but one-up that model and make it look even sexier.
Although we fear having a big stomach on off-pregnant days, when we are pregnant it becomes like a sexy third boob demanding exposure.
The general onlooker might not want to know this much about a pregnant woman‘s sex life, but the pregnant woman doesn’t care. You may not think you find her alluring anymore, but she is certain that one look at these pics will change your mind.
Tomorrow’s posting, last but not least: Healthy Yoga Girl.