Tag Archives: Dustin Hoffman

Don’t Call 911, Call CAA

If anyone’s been spooked about budget cuts in our police force or emergency room services in California, fear no more–celebrities are there to save us! Mila Kunis saved a man struck with a violent seizure at her home, Dustin Hoffman saved a jogger having a heart attack, Patrick Dempsey rescued a teen trapped in an overturned car, and Ryan Gosling broke up a fight. Hell even Obama got on board with saving the gay rights movement (injured by North Carolina legislation) by announcing that he’s FOR gay marriage.

Some people though are a little skeptical of these newfound heroes. Could celebrities be doing this just to save their careers, not us? Who cares! If they all need the good press just when we need a funding solution, it looks like this stream of goodwill could be a win-win situation. We would no longer have to argue about whether or not taxes should be raised because we won’t want our money. The more in crisis we are the more chances celebrities can save us! With less paramedics and emergency room services, Californians can be treated by their dreamboats and silver screen heroes. Let fans come up with life-threatening situations that can call the attention of A-listers like George Clooney or Brad Pitt (not Angelina Jolie–she does not save domestics), and stop training new paramedics and just train actors. After all there is no better breed of professionals able to act like they know what they’re doing than thespians. And by the number of super famous actors having to turn to TV and AT&T commercials, it seems that celebrities are desperate for work, so there should be plenty of them ready for recruitment. So let’s keep slashing those budgets California and let’s save ourselves by letting actors save us.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,