Tag Archives: Fourth of July

Happy 4th Of July To Us!

Even though this 4th of July was on a Wednesday, the worst day for holidays to fall on, did that stop our country from observing our Independence Day? Hells no. Because there is still one thing Americans can all agree on, and that is to celebrate our country’s great accomplishment fought with sweat, blood and brains by drinking cheap beer, eating BBQ and blowing things up! Maybe it’s not highfalutin enough of a commemoration for the people who came up with the fancy battle plans for the revolution, elite catch phrases like “No Taxation Without Representation,” and who dreamt up this smarty tarty new form of government we so reverently uphold today, but our 4th of July parties are more than enough to hail our real heroes: the dumb and dirty willing to carry out the tasks set forth by the elites. These were the people needed to fight against the Brits, to get wasted and put on some Mohawk warrior costumes before getting on a ship to dump some tea into a harbor, and to prove themselves such a sad lot in need of governing that a new form of government was needed to wrangle them together.

There are a lot of liberals out there that worry we no longer choose government officials by their level of intelligence, but by how relatable and similar they are to us. But this is nothing new, it’s something we’ve been gradually learning is the right way to pick our leaders. Since the American Revolution, we’ve come to recognize who gets things done around our country–people like us! Just go to a party. Who is it that gets the pizza late at night when everyone’s drunk and starving while the smart people stay home and prepare for their futures? The dumb drunk person! Who are the ones actively saving our economy by buying non-essential things they can’t afford? We the people! And should there be a need to take up arms, who would you trust with a gun? A dude who’s been shooting guns into the air without thinking of where that bullet might land every 4th of July, or the person who’s never held a gun in his life? That’s right, you’d choose the dangerous dumb guy.

Seems clear to me, we love ourselves and love to celebrate and promote those most like us. Which is why on this day after our national holiday, we should give a toast to us–the people who get things done.

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