Tag Archives: Humor

Playtex Words of Wisdom

Today I needed my monthly pick-me-up so I reached into a new box of Playtex Sports Tampons for a tampon to cheer me on with words like, “Go for it!” and, “Live with no regrets.” Instead I got tampon wrappers with swirly corporate new age design. What happened Playtex? Did you not know how important it was for a woman to read motivational messages while sitting on the toilet before wiping and facing the world? How are women going to get their shit together if not with the help of her tampon?! It’s like Playtex forgot that a woman’s confidence comes only from anything that goes up her rabbit hole.

I’ll forever miss those Sports tampons that replaced my trainer and secretly I believe my husband will too–they were that good. Luckily I photographed as many as I could for posterity sake. The public will no longer have anything to inspire us 4-5 days once a month, but I hope these will serve as a noble substitute.


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DADT Over! Why Straight Women Should Support Gay Rights

The end of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is finally here! Soldiers are coming out of the closet to their families through videos, some are probably racking up bet money on who they already knew was gay, and best of all, straight women who aren’t sure of a soldier’s sexual orientation can just ask and be told.  Imagine, lessening the chance of becoming a beard only to be dumped in your old age for a much younger man. Why can only women attracted to military men score this dating advantage?

Women who like civilian men should demand the same frankness in their playing field. If straight women helped push through more legislation for gay equality, there’s a good chance being gay would be less of a stigma and cause less closeted gay men to play straight and dupe another poor girl.

To those women against gay rights… Are you just afraid your man is gay and would leave you if he could? Chances are he will or leaves you all the time without your knowing anyway, so don’t be selfish and ruin it for everyone else! Do you believe it’s a sinful choice that can be changed?  Even if it was, would you really want to be with a man who wouldn’t choose you? Besides, I think we all know the number one rule of dating – don’t pick a guy you have to change ’cause they never do. Maybe you just think being gay is a disease? Fine, think it, but wouldn’t you want to know if a man had this “disease” rather than not?

Ladies, ladies, ladies. I’m not asking you to support gay rights to help gay men, I’m asking you to do this for straight women everywhere. Enough of using your faulty gaydars, rummaging through your date’s CD collection for clues of questionable taste, and driving yourselves mad with the question of, “Does he not want to sleep with me because he’s tired, or because he’s gay?” Let’s get this gay thing out there and over with so we can all finally know if the guy you want truly wants you or the guy standing next to you.




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