Talk has already begun about Mitt Romney being a flip-flopper–which in the world of Republicans is a big no-no. After all, you have to have conviction as a leader and stand by what you think at this particular moment for the rest of your life. Forget change or growth, that’s for weaklings. The first time I learned that going back and forth on an issue was a bad thing was during the presidential debates between George W. Bush and John Kerry in 2004. President Bush repeated the term against Kerry so many times that viewers finally got the message that flip-flopping must not be tolerated.
As a flip-flopper myself who never seems to know what to order when she sits down at a restaurant, I couldn’t understand what’s so wrong about it. I mean, shouldn’t we all weigh the good and the bad of eating a House Salad over a Veggie Club Sandwich with Fries? Sure the sandwich is what I said I wanted, but suddenly the ingredients for the two dishes make me think of my waistline, and I see the price for the two items and I don’t have a job so why shouldn’t I be able to change my mind to make the better decision? Well as long as you change it for yourself and not for the sake of different people. Are you kidding me?! That’s part of the decision-making process too! If I’m on a date with my husband, it’s a salad (husband or no, a date’s a date). If I’m with girlfriends that are super depressed for no reason, I better order that sandwich with fries or I’ll be ostracized. But no, if I was a Republican, I would have to uphold my convictions and get that fattening overpriced sandwich I said I wanted from the get-go, and stick to what I want and who I am!
Come to think of it, there’s something kind of freeing about that. To just know what you like and do it no matter what. Perhaps life would be simpler and easier to manage. See I’m flip-flopping right now! It just seems impossible not to do it since flip-flopping is the result of these evil little things in life called “Options.” They come at you the minute you step out into the world. In fact, the last time I had such strong convictions and clear manner of thinking was when I was a kid; I was stuck at home and my parents told me what I thought and why. Their reasoning made lots of sense until I met other people with different ideas. Since then I began living as an incessant flip-flopper. If Republicans are going to keep bashing candidates for changing their minds due to options that come before them, then perhaps their only recourse will be to find a man-child who never left home and has never changed his mind.
This dreamboat of a Republican candidate would be easy to understand. He would have no problem yelling out that he loves war. Playing it is just so much fun! You get to engage in strategy, move little green men in place and decide who gets shot and killed. You also get to choose who are the good guys (with God on their side) and who are the bad guys. Everything black and white, no room for gray; that would mean taking time to know people who are clearly your enemies and therefore too evil to understand. Must hate! But no worries, morals would stay in high regard as this presidential hopeful would mandate that everything be G-rated since kids shows are way more fun to watch and don’t have all that kissing and stuff. Euw!!! Have a problem with any of this? Well too bad. This grown-up child candidate would not like to be told what to do. Hey stupid hippie liberals–you’re not my mom! He wants to be able to set up oil pipelines where he wants and be friends with people who are against regulations on emissions, labor or anything. But the number one selling point of this candidate amongst many conservative Americans would be his eagerness to kill any public healthcare legislation that would be brought before him because… kids hate sharing. Boy, kids are cute aren’t they?
Related articles
- Mitt Romney: Flip-flopper or not? (washingtonpost.com)
- Flip-floppers unite: Jim DeMint ‘excited’ by Mitt Romney’s candidacy (dailykos.com)
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